9:50pm: cd, the road
I like the new Switchfoot cd. It talks about sex being currency, and how it sells any freaking thing it wants too. The title of the song is, "Easier than Love." Please buy this cd, even if you think they have "sold out" like every other popular band that you say this about. Give it up for people who like not being known!
Fun news: ~Married life is amazing, especially if you marry a God-given patience-filled beauty named Malerie Huguley.
~I'm getting to go into the studio this weekend with the band, in Murfreesboro, TN. We're pretending to be professional by going to the music state, yay! I'm sure we will have fun, but it will be a busy weekend nonetheless <-- cool word to me, I don't know why.
~I'm still alive, although I only talk to my bride, Heath and Martha Cates, Philip and Lizzy Wilson, my brothers in the band, and Bean every once in a while. But I have to say, I'm more than content with talking just to Malerie... she's so stinking hot!
11:00pm: Trying to ponder life... it's hard.
John MacArther, an author to many books, has gripped my reading time(which is never enough) with his book, Hard to Believe(the high cost and infinite value of following Jesus). I highly recommend it to anyone who reads this. So far, he has gone into his thoughts against the user-friendly, seeker-sensitive gospel. He calls modern day's Christianity, Christianity Lite(yeah, he's pretty sarcastic in this book at times, too). His challenge, from what I have gathered, is for the church to become unapologetic about the truth of the gospel, to get rid of this tendency of trying to be popular and appealing, and give people Jesus as a Savior, not a genie. He is fed up, like a lot of us, with the church loving people to hell, and I feel that we are soon becoming less of a minority among believers.
I try not to be one who is pushy or assertive about faith(through grace I have come quite a long way from doing that) anymore. With that said, I am going to try and be honest, unapologetic, and unassertive towards anyone except myself. I'm going to tell you that it sometimes sucks to try and live right. In fact, it sucks a lot, if not most of the time. But this fact shouldn't stop me, or stop any of you for that matter. Yes, I commit the same exact sins that I did a year ago. Yes, I'm tired of it and feel defeated. It's hard. Does that bother me? You bet it does. We were told too stinkin' much when we were young that this life(the Hip Hop Christianity Lite) was going to be easy... Guess what? Yep, we were lied to. Over and over... lied to. We were told that it was cool, that you make great friends, that you go on two out-of-state retreats every year, and oh yeah, bowling and ice skating is free for your "other" friends. But guess what else? God knew what He was doing when He put us through all of that stuff, and He knows exactly what He is doing with all of us right now. He is calling us(I think, and really hope) to desperation and dependency on Him... NOT each other. We are all equally really bad people. It's how He made us. Here's the BAD news from that: it(our depravity) makes us become like grass that withers with the wind when we try to manage things on our own. He does this to bring us back to remember that the cost is high and sacrificial for us to inherit the infinite value of being His child. The GOOD news: We have hope knowing in this. Are we His children? Well, it's bothering me, and I know it's bothering some, if not all of you. That is the sign of our inheritance. We are struggling, unhappy, and sick of our lives. Then we MUST be a child of His, or we wouldn't care! At a conference I went to this past summer, the theme was, "the fellowship of His sufferings." Needless to say, not a huge crowd showed up. But God called those of us there to inform us of our need for a Savior, and the fact that it will cost us our lives. It was amazing. I will let you read notes, etc. from it if you wish.
I beg of all who God has to read this, to pray for each other.. No matter how much we don't want to pray, especially for someone other than ourselves. But we all need this. We need Him, not each other. Where we come into play with each other is our prayers, it's a RESPONSIBILITY AND COMMAND given by God for us to be drawn to Him. God's Sovereinty and our Prayers changes our world. I love you all. May God grant us mercy and grace to be drawn back to Him as His Beloved children.
Goodnight, and go buy Jimmy Eat World's new cd, Futures. It's amazing.
3:04am: bittersweet moment
In less than eleven hours, it will be the official end to an amazing era. Three guys. in college. live together. four years together. they shower less than before. but they are all still alive. simply incredible... whose going to contact the world records?
oh, the bitterSWEET part.
in a matter of about 5 and a half days now, my new roomate will be back in town. his name is philip wilson. he is one of god's greatest creations, and he doesn't care.
i love him.
of coarse i love malerie more than him...
more than philip, not god.
i love my parents, too... and steven k. brackin... crap. i love everyone i have ever met... no wait.. those of you who know me are thinking of exceptions to that statement.
bean and glenn have been neat roomates... not in a "clean" neat way exactly, but neat in the fact that god has grown us up in such a creative way... wow. he's a creative guy, that god. he's so funny sometimes too.. he created freaking canker sores. they hurt, especially four at the same time. but they don't hurt as bad as hell. i bet that hurts hard, and he created it too..
i'm delirious... well W.L.( -estsing... they will get it.. i hope no one else does)guys, i love you.
2:27am: God and His mystery
You know, if I go through my day, I really question why God loves me so much. He(His love) really doesn't fit into any equation, and being so structured, I can't seem to comprehend what He is all about. I mean, I know from Scripture that my salvation wasn't of my own doing, so I'm trying to figure out, with a finite brain, why God, all infinite of coarse, would choose me, stupid peon Kevin. If anyone who reads this knows me more than by this website, I want you to know that if I ever "appeared" like a good person, I must have been having a really good day, or maybe I just need to go into acting. I say that because I'm never remorseful enough about my own selfish sins. The atonement made for me doesn't stick in the back of my head enough. Someone utterly innocent of anything and everything imaginable was murdered for me so that I may have eternal goodness. Has that ever bothered you?(I'm speaking to other saints obviously) I mean, good God, how bad do we all suck? And we don't stand alone. Looking THROUGHOUT Scripture the people God has chosen have never been really, good people... they were murderers, cheating tax collectors, hypocrites, liars... the list could go on for miles. My God is just so darn weird, though. If you are wondering, "why is he typing this for me to read?" I can't even answer that. I know that if you've made it this far, you were supposed to, but apparently the point is just that one of God's children is in awe and wonder of how His grace is so sufficient and irresistible that I will never be able to make sense of it. Beloved, I dare myself and those reading this to take time in our days to slow down and realize that, by God's amazing, marvelous grace alone, we are saved, and we can never thank Him enough for our salvation, or ever be good enough to not have to say so. We tend to think that our lives are so crazy and busy that our world will someday just explode, yet God has uniquely designed us so that we would fit His perfect blueprint(Ecc. 3:11-15, just in case you disagree with that) Guys, we will never be able to make sense of that, so let's praise God for being a God who we can't figure out. Not that I could have it differently, but I really don't think I would want it any other way. Although we are worthless and sinful, Sola de Gloria. goodnight.
12:00am: Sleepy, yet happy
We lost the internet for about six days, and I swear, it felt like an eternity. Ask Bean and Glenn, they'll vouch for me. A lesson to be learned from this tragedy is that we are all a bunch of internet crackheads.. goodnight.
12:01am: Just in case you haven't heard
Well... If you have called or seen me in the past week, you already know this... but I thought I would spread the word once again... I'm gay. Well, no I am not really, but I am happy because of a special event coming up. Now, not to downsize Easter(minus the bunny part, I do want to downsize that.. and, that is a special event as well, just not the one I want to mention), but a great band is coming to Auburn. So, with that said, here is the info:
Sister Hazel. April 22. Auburn University. President's lawn. Free. AND, free food(just in case there are losers who don't indulge into music.. jk(<--Look, I can be "AIM cool"). So, yay for Sister Hazel, and yay for us getting to see them in AU again.
On a more serious note, I want to express that I feel so privaleged to have the opportunity to pray to one incredible guy. He's so nice for making me love Him, and letting me become infested and lustful towards Him. I love the ones that know I love them. Peace.
11:09pm: I'm a dork too!
1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: "ents, children, spouses, coworkers, customers, teachers, neighbors," -Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, Donald Whitney
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? My guitar
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV? NCAA championship game, Sorry GT fans, I was pulling for them too
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is: 11:00
5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time? 11:13
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? TV in the living room
7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing? A few minutes ago, getting out of my car coming inside
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at? malerieandkevin.weddings.com
9: What are you wearing? Haight-Ashbury road sign t-shirt, blue jeans, and flip flops(I'm from AU alright)
10: Did you dream last night? Don't remember
11: When did you last laugh? At band practice a few minutes ago.
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in? Pictures, posters, football paintings, and a sculpture
13: Seen anything weird lately? The colors(yes, plural) of my church's walls.
14: What do you think of this quiz? I'm a loser for taking it
15: What is the last film you saw? Still Magnolias, at ASF. In real life version!! AKA a play.
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? A library of all that I want.
17: Tell me something about you that I don't know: There is a pink monkey Malerie gave me that is hanging on my lamp switch.
18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Make musical instruments cheaper.
19: Do you like to dance? Yes
20: George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years? He is doing exactly what he is supposed to be doing...
21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Lilly May... Malerie doesn't like the May part.. that is her idea by the way
21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Isaac
22: Would you ever consider living abroad? Wherever He leads, I'll go.. Wherever He leads, I'll go. I'll follow my Christ who loves ME so, WHEREver He leads, I'll go.
5:59pm: It's poll time!
Spring Break 2000 baby!!! For the fifth year now SB2K0 has rocked my face off! I want to know what everyone did this past week, whether it was fun or boring... I'll go first, and more than likely may be last as well...
SB2K0#5: I traveled to Destin Florida with Philip(of coarse), Alan, the Wilkinson brothers, Corby, and luscious Lucien(Lizzy's brother from KY). We had a blast being boys all week at the ocean and inside with the AC. We stayed @ Surfside Condos, and our pastime included: Doing nothing at all, eating, drinking, going to (the beach, the pool, the hottubs, the sauna, and the elevator), playing Tiger Woods 2004 on PS2, playing some game for Xbox, playing Apples to Apples(great game), playing poker(for money, not clothes), and of coarse, since we were at the beach, we went to Big Kahuna's for some putt-putt action. It is only $3.00 now, wahoo!!! Resaurants were The Back Porch, Louisiana Lagni....(I don't know how to spell it), and yup, Fudpuckers. The week was fun, mainly because of the sleep.
11:08pm: Happy Birthday Baby!!!
Today is my beautiful fiancee's 21st birthday!!! Feel free to show her your love by leaving her a message, even if you have no idea who she is, or who I am, for that matter. Oh, and if you are trying to figure out which beautiful one she is in the pic, it is the one on the left...
"Sin is incurable by the strength of man, nor does free will have any validity here, so that even the saints say: 'The evil which I do not wish, this I do.' 'You are not doing the things which you wish.' 'Since my loins are filled with illusions,' etc."
You are Martin Luther!
Yeah, you have a way of letting everyone know how you feel, usually with Bible quotes attached, and will think your way through the issues, although sometimes you make no sense! You aren't always sure of yourself, and you can change your mind about things, something you actually consider a strength. You can take solitude, especially with some music.
2:00am: Something for people to make fun of me about
It's not like anyone actually knows that I have this live journal, but I heard it through the grape vine that bfc was a large discussion this past week. I thought I might toss in my quick opinion. hehe, Bowling for Columbine is a must see for Demos and Repubs alike. Those of you who call yourselves one of those dreaded names may be utterly shocked at our pathetic country. And I must add to the popular saying, I also would like to move to Canada, if it were only warmer... God loves me. Bye
6:25pm: I'm a loser, and want to share with you my boring life...
10 things i love: (1) the Sovereign King of the universe that created me to worship Him (2) the Bible (3) I can't say it, but she is pretty, if that is a hint (4)the passion the Lord has given me through His grace (5) my amazing family (6) my amazing friends, all of you including, (7) Matthew Peterson and Shawn Sandlin(total blessings in my life) (8) music. (9) talking (10) life, good days and bad ones...
09 things i look forward to: (1) seeing my baby, Malerie (2) waking up (3) growing good looking facial... maybe it will happen :( one day.. (4) learning new stuff (5) getting in my car to listen to music (6) going to shows, when I have time that is. (7) seminary (8) living with my future wife (9) living with my future wife and roomates, Philip and Elizabeth.
08 things i like<3! to wear (1) clothes, sometimes (2) children's clothes, the fit hot! (3) my fanny pack (4) that wasn't true, but I do wish guys could have purses (5) boxers, NEVER tighty whiteys (6) do I wear this much stuff? oh, Steve Maddens (7) flip flops, yup, I'm from Auburn too (8) I like my belt.
07 things that annoy me: (1) white people (2) the fact that I'm 21 and my facial hair sucks (3) ugly people* (4) my sin (5) people that order a small meal and eat my leftovers (6) Christians**, sorry, I had to put it, and this is the devil's # (7) competitiveness, and lying (sorry, I know it's 8 but oh well)
*the word "ugly" has many definitions, including a particular type of attitude. **Now, I have to explain here. Things that Christians(this includes me by the way) tend to say and do can be very annoying, and I don't want to go into the details, but this a simply an honest answer.
06 bands/Artist i've been listening to lately in no order: (1) Boy Sets Fire (2) Switchfoot (3) Beloved (4) the Juliana Theory (5) Passion '03 (6) Cool Hand Luke
05 things i do everyday: (1) wake up, so far (2) pray (3) read my Bible (4) talk/see Malerie (5) talk/see Philip
04 places i want to visit: (1) NEW YORK CITY. (2) California (been there, done that, but Palm Springs rocks) (3) Africa (4) Indonesia and/or Australia
03 movies i could watch over and over again: (1) Zoolander (2) Orange County (3) The Christmas Story
2 things on your mind: (1) Malerie, tomorrow's 13 months! (2) guitar 1 foot away from me
1 thing i'd rather be doing: (1) I'm not married yet...
2:17am: God is God, and He knows He is God.
I am really captivated by God. I know that is probably the understatement of the eternity, but I am really into this whole complex right now. School is approaching, that is neat... Whitewater was fun yesterday, and the beach is in just a few days, a wedding tomorrow... more importantly, I get to see the most beautiful girl in world tomorrow... and all of those things are just great. They can all be summed up into one word: Mercy. We get new mercies every morning, yet we(sorry, probably just I) am so good at finding the negative things of life, and the 'problems' to face each day. Here's one for myself, most of the world will be in Hell one day and that is complete torture which will last forever. Knowing that, here's the other half of the equation: I don't have to go through that because the Sovereign King of the universe sent Christ, his kid, to die for who? ME! Me, guys, that is why Christ came to earth. That is an unfathomable thought, man. This stuff is so easy to say(or type), but watch out, praise God when I can live up to these thoughts.. huh, praise God anyway, even if that never happens. If I can centralize my life on the fullness of Christ, and His centrality and supremacy in all things, then I know that I can be at the end of my pathway one day, whenever God has decided that to be, and say, "Wow, God didn't let me Waste my life on the worldly stuff; He chose to use me to make me and more people give Him Glory in all things." Speaking of wasting life, I am reading through a new book by Piper(I know you're shocked) right now called Don't Waste Your Life. I encourage anyone who breathes out of their nose or mouth to purchase this item. It is overwhelmingly thoughtful and very useful for... what's the word, oh yeah, life. That is all for now, except one last comment. For those of us here in Auburn... I propose I challenge. God IS going to move drastically this year. Let us think of one friend that is lost today, and write their name on our hand, and just pray for them when you see the name. Just pray? Bad wording there, omit the 'just'. God is bigger than... fill in with any word. Oh, and if you don't have a lost friend, I can encourage you to meet and make one. It makes me appreciate the blood of the cross that much more, and yeah, the Bible tells us to do that.. I love God, nothing more to say tonight, well.. I like the new Dashboard stuff, ok, that's it.. really.
12:21am: Auburn is soon coming, and God is going to do stuff.
I am becoming blown away with two life-altering things. One, is how amazing our God is and the new things He has revealed to me in one and half quick months(woops, that's kind of two already... oh well). Second, and this should be over-exciting for my Auburn family, is that there is no doubt in my mind that God is going to do some neat things this incredible year ahead of us. Guys, I will be praying for Auburn in the next month to begin preparing itself for the insane works of God. I am challenging myself and I pray anyone who reads this, to get ready to see God use His people to do His work for the Kingdom all to Glorify and exalt Himself. Wow, God is so self-centered and I think that is awesome. How could he not be? He did create the idea of creating... and the act of thinking... and oh yeah, wisdom... WOWWY! God is big, and we are not. One other prayer request for this fall, is that God will go ahead of us and pop(blow up, explode, bust...) the Christian bubble out of my life and everyone else's for all I'm concerned... I really hope someone said "Amen!" when they read that last statement. I love you all and want to leave you with this quote from a new piper book called, "don't waste your life: '... whatever you do, find the God-centered, Christ-exalting, Bible-saturated passion of your life, and find your way to say it and live for it and die for it.'" Hallelujah! Goodnight.
What do you know? I'm obsessive compulsive... Now the whole dependency thing is probably from God and Malerie, but ah well, I guess I can live with that. Hey, like all the other entries many people have posted, I haven't been on in a while, but it does stay pretty busy around here.. I hope everyone is doing great.. I prayed for my friends in Auburn today that you guys are still growing closer with God and you are all rocking people's faces off! I miss all of you, um... especially one beautiful lady, but I'm confident that Christ wanted me here... considering that's where I am. Ah, life is grand, He is good, and I have more campers coming here in about 2 hours, it will be great.. I love you all and hope to hear from some of you soon! For His Glory!